The Best Valentine’s Day Sucks Card for Single People Everywhere

5 Feb

People everywhere are gearing up for the chocolate dripping, thorny-wrapped-flower giving, waxing-candy-poetic-love holiday by which millions will spend their hard earned money to show just how much they love one another. How do I love thee, let me count the diamonds.

The actual Valentine didn’t have it so good. Here are what some of the legends and history tell us…

  • Three hundred years after the death of Jesus Christ, the Roman emperors still demanded that everyone believe in the Roman gods. Valentine, a Christian priest, had been thrown in prison for his teachings. On February 14, Valentine was beheaded, not only because he was a Christian, but also because he had performed a miracle. He supposedly cured the jailer’s daughter of her blindness. The night before he was executed, he wrote the jailer’s daughter a farewell letter, signing it “From Your Valentine.”
  • Another Valentine legend was of an Italian bishop who lived at about the same time, AD 200. He was imprisoned because he secretly married couples, contrary to the laws of the Roman emperor. Some legends say he was burned at the stake.
  • The Christians had come to celebrate February 14 as the saint day that celebrated the several early Christian martyrs named Valentine.

Not quite all glitter and rainbows by far.

For those who are anti-establishment here is the best ‘Valentine’s Day Sucks’ card for all your single friends, whether they are from the male or female persuasion.


You can buy this being single on Valentine’s Day Sucks card on Etsy.

History of Valentine via

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