11 Cereals That Never Quite Made It

5 Apr
2010

Ever wonder what gives a cereal staying power? We found 11 cereals that surely didn’t have it. Do you remember any of these?

OJ’s Cereal was introduced in 1985. The cereal disappeared about one year after it was introduced. Who was the genius to think children want to have orange juice in their milk?  Seriously.

This cereal began as an idea for a sugar-coated flake cereal in 1972 which was to be called Freakie Flakes. Ralston dropped the flake cereal in favor of a new puffed cereal which they called Freakies.

As the commercial story line goes, the Freakies searched for the mythical Freakies Tree which provided an endless supply of Freakies cereal. Once, they found the tree, they decided to live there forever. Sounds a bit morbid to me.

Crazy Cow was produced by General Mills during the 1970s. The cereal was somewhat of a novelty item in that it had an unusual trait. The round, multi-grain cereal pellets were coated with an excipient of a drink mix. When milk was added, it would dissolve the powdered coating, and the resultant mixture would resemble, in sight smell and taste, a flavored milk. Total rip off of Frankenberry.

Puffa Puffa Rice cereal was a 1960s/70s breakfast staple which suddenly disappeared in 1975. It probably gave way to Kellog’s other famous cereal, Rice Crispies.

Moonstones “the delicious space-shaped cereal that’s out of this world” were produced in the mid-1970s. Boooring…if you ask me. No wonder they didn’t last.

Fruit Brute was produced from 1975 to 1983. Fruit Brute continues to be seen on the occasional piece of official merchandise: in recent years both a resin model kit and a bobblehead statue have been sold in his image. And for a lil’ trivia…Quentin Tarantino used Fruit Brute cereal as a prop in two of his movies. It is seen in “Mr Orange’s” (Tim Roth) apartment in Reservoir Dogs and “Lance” (Eric Stoltz) is seen eating it in Pulp Fiction.

It would be hysterical to have a scene in the new Eclipse movie, to have Bella eating a bowl of Fruit Brute cereal in her father’s kitchen and have Jake walk in.

General Mills Corporation manufactured and marketed Clackers in the 1960s and 1970s. It was not a major success for General Mills, partially because the television advertisements, which many adult viewers considered annoying, actually overshadowed the cereal itself. General Mills went on to produce ‘Clackers’ the toy, that had two balls that clicking against each other, which was just as annoying as the cereal.  (We jest. GM didn’t produce it, but it was an actual toy.)

General Mills introduced Baron Von Redberry cereal in or about 1972. Ever heard of this one? Don’t you think the Baron kinda looks like the Swedish Chef?

Dinky Donuts was introduced in 1981 by Ralston. More like sweet Cheerios for kids.

Introduced in 1976, the tag line was… “The crunchy cereal that smiles back at you.” Sounds creepy, not cute.

Introduced in 1993, Hidden Treasures cereal consisted of sweetened corn squares that all looked the same, but were meant to be filled with a fruity filling; either cherry, orange or grape. Mind you some pieces didn’t have any filling at all.

1 Response to 11 Cereals That Never Quite Made It

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Brian

August 2nd, 2010 at 9:20 pm

The greatest of all failed cereals was the Kellog’s Rice Krispies Treats cereal. Truly a treat among gods. A shame it went away.

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