10 Anti-Valentine’s Day Cards

11 Feb
2010

Who really likes Valentine’s Day? It’s an over hyped ‘holiday’ geared to make everyone spend their money on fattening chocolates, soon to be dead flowers, and basically fancy paper with saying you didn’t write. So here are 10anti-valentine’s day cards that are much more amusing than their mushy counterparts.

Simple and to the point. From HipsterCards.com

If you can’t say it, this card will for you. From Shirt Woot.

Cute, yet sad. This is by illustrator and artist Jason Sho Green.

Our favorite anti-valentine cards are from Be My Anti-Valentine.

Hand Illustrated by Trigger and Sparks at Etsy.

Poor Timmy.

Scribbler has a plethora of rude and social unacceptable cards.

The ultimate Anti-Valentine’s Day card from Zazzle.

Which one is your favorite?

99 Responses to 10 Anti-Valentine’s Day Cards

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Mia

February 12th, 2010 at 3:04 am

amen. thank god someone else feels the same as I.

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gilbertmusings

February 12th, 2010 at 3:34 am

I think it’s so much more fun to hate it.

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aaron m.

February 12th, 2010 at 3:51 am

where is your heart?

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gilbertmusings

February 12th, 2010 at 3:58 am

Somewhere safe.

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Valentine’s day « monoceros

February 12th, 2010 at 4:01 am

[...] click me! Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)So What Did You Get Your Husband for Valentine’s Day?Captain Catholic Calls the Kettle Black. Posted by kathleeen Filed in Uncategorized Leave a Comment » [...]

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ishopforyou

February 12th, 2010 at 4:11 am

Love the cards! Thanks :)

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Emmarine

February 12th, 2010 at 4:25 am

AYE Valentines Day… Always that one annoying day in the year where people suddenly loose all common sense spend dumb money on dumb stuff for a dumb holiday.

Why can’t people show you they care every other day of the year?….

Sigh…

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Citizen Pete

February 12th, 2010 at 5:08 am

Timmy is now a great Bluesman! :D

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gilbertmusings

February 12th, 2010 at 5:12 am

Ha! Cute.

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the jobberblogger

February 12th, 2010 at 5:31 am

Valentine’s Day is pretty lame. It shouldn’t exist. Seriously, this one day everyone goes out and acts their lovey doviest? Come on. You should do that on your own time when it’s surprising and means more instead of letting some day in the worst/shortest month of the year tell you to.

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CRAGRT

February 12th, 2010 at 5:39 am

It funny, i really enjoying.

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sweetman

February 12th, 2010 at 5:39 am

Thanks for the great laugh!

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gilbertmusings

February 12th, 2010 at 5:49 am

I agree. It’s sad.

Interesting tidbit:

1913 was the beginning of the end. It is when Hallmark Cards produce their first Valentine. Now the date is the flagship “Hallmark Holiday” – together with Mothers’ Day, Fathers’ Day and so on, a series of celebrations notable more for the need to spend money than any heartfelt sentiment.

I sourced that from telegraph.uk Has interesting info on the History of Valentines Day.

V-day is like the diamond engagement ring. All hyped up to make you spend money. Diamonds are hunks of worthless rock that were polished and promoted to the place it now holds. But that’s for another post. ;)

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Citizen Pete

February 12th, 2010 at 5:49 am

@jobberblogger, i agree… and disagree! sure, it might be lame; it’s very subjective. for you it is. for me it is, too. and for most people here it might be as well. but look at it on the bright side: “valentine’s day” can therefore be a wonderful “filter”. i want my woman to be valentinin’ me 365 days a year, damn it… ok ok, or close to 365, hehe!
plus, generally regarded lame content spices and boosts other people’s creativity; where would my morning laugh be without this post?! ;)

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pienbiscuits

February 12th, 2010 at 6:15 am

This is a great post and a beautifully designed blog. The cards from Be My Anti Valentine are my personal favourite. I couldn’t let Valentine’s day go without making my own comments about it http://pienbiscuits.wordpress.com/2010/02/12/how-do-i-fleece-thee-this-valentine’s-day-–-let-me-count-the-ways/

It’s heartening to see more people resisting this money making exercise. You can be a Valentine at any time of the year, not just on 14th February.

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pienbiscuits

February 12th, 2010 at 6:22 am

Value is placed on many strange and wonderful things, depending on the fashion and circumstances. In Victorian London, Oysters were the food of the poor until over fishing and pollution put a stop to it. Now it’s seen as a luxury food and an aphrodisiac, especially on, dare I say it, Valentine’s day.

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Biscuit

February 12th, 2010 at 6:24 am

BEAUTIFUL reply! =D *steals it for future use*

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vbrekkidd80

February 12th, 2010 at 6:27 am

I think they need anti Vday sites these cards are fantastic!

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Signet

February 12th, 2010 at 6:33 am

Really lovely cards… Great to see so many Anti-Valentine people… haha!

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dorkarama

February 12th, 2010 at 7:12 am

That one of Cupid with the arrow in his back speaks to me.

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Lakia

February 12th, 2010 at 7:35 am

Although I’m really looking forward to Valentine’s Day… this is too hilarious lol

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sittingpugs

February 12th, 2010 at 7:50 am

Hilarious! My favorite one has the hot dog in the thought bubble.

The only reason why I won’t be despising and scowling in the general direction of this year’s Valentine’s Day is because it coincides with Chinese New Year. So that is what I shall be celebrating.

Hello, year of the tiger.

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Schysophrenia

February 12th, 2010 at 7:57 am

yea, my cat loves me too :)) great post.

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unearthed

February 12th, 2010 at 8:14 am

Even my cat doesn’t love me – it is just after the food! Speaking of food, here’s an anti-valentine’s day meal you might want to try, or to avoid, depending on your standpoint: http://tiny.cc/wirzF

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Lawyer With a Heart

February 12th, 2010 at 9:13 am

You rock! What an awesome find for me. As a cynical, (no, realistic) divorce attorney who was looking for some great images to pass along to my favorite clients, I was impressed by your selection. The “It’s Better to Have Loved …” card was the best and has been forwarded on to some well deserving clients. You, my friend, helped some grief striken people have a badly needed laugh.

Also enjoyed your comments about Hallmark. Not surprising to find yet another example of corporate America exploiting our emotions.

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Jørgen

February 12th, 2010 at 9:31 am

Thanks. Love the cards. My girlfriend broke up today after two and a half years. Im stuck in the middle of nowhere, and I’m kinda sad.. And I dont think valentines will be very good this year.. =)

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pandabox33

February 12th, 2010 at 9:34 am

I love Valentine’s Day, I totally take advantage of it to buy myself chocolates and flowers and whatever. It’s a pretext to do something special and spend money. Even if I have a boyfriend. Even if said boyfriend spoils me on this day even more than usual.
BUT I think your anti-Valentine’s cards rock. I laughed my ass off and find them hilarious !

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max

February 12th, 2010 at 10:24 am

“On the Fourteenth Day of Feb-ru-ary”
By Lover Dudley (his other “asinine poems” may be read on AsininePoetry.com, here:
http://www.asininepoetry.com/hacks/bio/39

“On the Fourteenth Day of Feb-ru-ary”

ON the fourteenth day
Of Feb-ru-ary
To you I express
My feelings,
Mary

You’ve filled my days
Like a bill of lading
Endless lists
Requests cascading

So my dear Mary
Your invoice
I’ll pay
It’s come due
On this Valentine’s Day

”Won’t you please call me?” ”Why don’t you write?”
”Just move your pillow more to the right.”

”We never go out.”
”You think I’m fat?”
”Get me a Kleenex, I’m allergic to cats!”

”We never talk.”
”Football? Again?”
”Clean up this house! It’s a pig-pen!”

”We’re going to mother’s.”
”Put the seat down!”
”Not with the boys, not out on the town!”

”Clean the garage, please.”
”Empty the trash.”
”You think you’re in college?”
”You can’t just get smashed.”

”Turn down the volume.”
”Don’t drink so much beer.”
”Did you hear what I said?”
”Did I make myself clear?”

Yes, Darling, you did
Clear as a bell
For ten long years
Life here’s has been Hell

Fuck Valentine’s Day
And fuck you!

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Friday Frivolity: A Cure for VD « Notes From the Sisterhood of Perpetual Singleness

February 12th, 2010 at 10:57 am

[...] when I came to sign in to WordPress.com, I found this lovely post on WP’s homepage: 10 Anti-Valentine’s Day Cards. Even if you like Valentine’s Day *coughbethanycough* do check it out. This one, for example, [...]

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SallyK

February 12th, 2010 at 11:26 am

Those are great! Now who can I send one to….. North Coast Muse @ http://sally1029.wordpress.com

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onegirlriot

February 12th, 2010 at 12:10 pm

One of the problems with Valentine’s Day is that it creates expectations, which in turn makes people feel obligated. And it starts in elementary school, for crying out loud, at which point it turns into a competition. Then a bunch of little kids get their feelings hurt if they aren’t popular. Ugh. And all because of a day in February when we are told to tell people we love them.

My 21-year-old son is in the fledgling stages of a relationship with a wonderful young lady. Yesterday he told me, “I hate Valentine’s Day. It makes me feel manipulated. I told her that, too, and she said the day didn’t matter to her.”

He decided that he would do things his own way: He would acquiesce because she didn’t know him yet, and because he didn’t want her to feel badly. He figured that not acknowledging the day this time would possibly make her feel bad, even if she “said” it didn’t matter. (He doesn’t know her well enough, either.) He went to Bath and Body Works and smelled a bunch of lotions that were similar to the one she loves, picked out a handful, bagged them, and gave them to her last night.

He feels that he can surprise her with flowers throughout the year, and that maybe by next year they’ll both be comfortable enough in the relationship that neither one will care about a manipulative holiday in February.

I like this kid of mine.

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Aisha

February 12th, 2010 at 12:42 pm

It is awesome photos! Lovely

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Christopher Beale

February 12th, 2010 at 1:17 pm

This is the funniest thing I have ever seen. I am adding a link to this post to my latest article, it’s called “Pre-Valentines Introspection.” Awesome content!

Chris

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alice

February 12th, 2010 at 1:45 pm

i love it! hahaha!

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Where Is The Love? « Mikeroni and Cheese

February 12th, 2010 at 2:02 pm

[...] When asked about what I will be planning to do on this upcoming holiday, all I have to say to respond is that I will do as I normally do any other day. I might even hang up some banners for Presidents Day to celebrate the 15th. After browsing the many exotic weblogs on WordPress, I have located one that demonstrates my feelings about such a “Valentines Day” that our society has grown to adopt. Click Here. [...]

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jcalanayan

February 12th, 2010 at 2:05 pm

I’m not so very anti-valentine’s day, I could take it or leave it, but these are hilarious. Thanks for the laughs.

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jvguilder

February 12th, 2010 at 2:36 pm

how the hell does stuff like this get featured on wordpress.com?…….. seriously?

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uberVU - social comments

February 12th, 2010 at 2:54 pm

Social comments and analytics for this post…

This post was mentioned on Twitter by gpavoni: RT @puella: 10 anti-valentine’s day cards: http://migre.me/jNFs

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gilbertmusings

February 12th, 2010 at 3:00 pm

Sweet. I am glad you like the examples I posted. It took a while to find them. Like Hallmark, the ‘internets’ are all about the mushy I Love You’s. Barf. Happy Anti-V-Day.

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gilbertmusings

February 12th, 2010 at 3:05 pm

Oh wow. So sorry to hear. Think of V-day as any other day and hopefully it won’t be as painful. I hope things work out for you. They usually do.

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adiblogger

February 12th, 2010 at 3:11 pm

we never celebrated this day at all. if you need a day in the calendar to buy her flowers, there is already something wrong in the relationship. she should always get flower or other little signs of love!

for the rest:
http://shopadidas.wordpress.com/2010/02/03/great-valentines-gifts-to-buy-from-adidas/

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gilbertmusings

February 12th, 2010 at 3:13 pm

YES! I remember distinctly being in grade school and seeing all the popular girls getting so my valentines cards and chocolates and it pissed me off. It was like the cards given were currency and if you didn’t have ‘enough’ you were poor. Don’t you just love how society sets us up from a young again (especially females) to be in competition with each other. And the boys who are pushed into giving girls stuff to gain notice and appreciation. Whatever…I won’t rant. I think your son has the right idea.

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gilbertmusings

February 12th, 2010 at 3:14 pm

Thank you.

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gilbertmusings

February 12th, 2010 at 3:21 pm

Possibly because sometimes people just like to look at funny things, gain a chuckle and then move on to the more in-depth, introspective things. It’s why people go to the site ‘People At Walmart’ or ’9gag’. It’s an information overload release, even for just a moment. In between all the real intense and informative content must lie a breather. I have a more thought provoking article I wrote if your interested called Think Before You Kill.

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sittingpugs

February 12th, 2010 at 3:28 pm

One of the problems with Valentine’s Day is that it creates expectations, which in turn makes people feel obligated.

To some degree I think all retail-heavy holidays impose certain meanings and experiences. The consensus is no longer on why celebrate or acknowledge the day, but rather on what the rituals of the day should entail. New Year’s Eve, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, even birthdays.

To have an alternative set of rituals would be construed as incredibly clever and original (“that’s different and I like it”), or excessively unconventional (“why can’t you do what everyone else does?”).

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gilbertmusings

February 12th, 2010 at 4:43 pm

How sad. I am sorry for your loss and it’s very upsetting you had to experience that.

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edwilsonishere

February 12th, 2010 at 5:55 pm

The robot one is the best! lol!

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jingle

February 12th, 2010 at 6:11 pm

very funny post!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

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An all American (and somewhat Irish) Girl

February 12th, 2010 at 6:46 pm

These are fantastic

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pickle92

February 12th, 2010 at 6:50 pm

Brilliant!
February 14th just rubs it in for all us singles out there.

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Cappelli

February 12th, 2010 at 7:42 pm

I really dig the “space” card. It makes me giddy; in a warm and fuzzy kind of way.

This Valentine’s day I will be working the night shift. My profession you ask?: A waiter, or server, or future serial killer. However you want to phrase it really.

Oh and apparently, some sappy douche-a-loo will be proposing to his girlfriend that night.

How trite.

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Some musings on V.D. « 300

February 12th, 2010 at 8:15 pm

[...] Some musings on V.D. Jump to Comments No, not that kind, this kind. [...]

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katherinerylie

February 12th, 2010 at 11:55 pm

oh wow! haha those are funny. You know, sometimes I think there’s probably more people on this planet that hate valentines day than like it. ;D

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scarletbroomstick

February 13th, 2010 at 2:02 am

how true!

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iloveseoul

February 13th, 2010 at 2:07 am

I love it.

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crankywriter

February 13th, 2010 at 2:07 am

great … really enjoyed reading it ….

sadly, I have a valentine now …. cannot celebrate anti-valentine’s with you :(

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Tina

February 13th, 2010 at 2:31 am

After reading all of these replies bashing what some people enjoy, it struck me as ironic that you are probably the same type of people who find others to be judgmental if they disagree with what you enjoy.
Just a thought.

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laugh

February 13th, 2010 at 3:49 am

Media in the social era… fancy internet protocols with saying someone needs write something about anything.

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elmer

February 13th, 2010 at 4:01 am

haha valentine madness yeah

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bondman

February 13th, 2010 at 4:31 am

Indeed, really funny cards, so thx a lot. Unfortunately I found them too late. So please post them next year a littlebit earlier! The collection itself ist realy amazing. I love the kid’s picture…

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daniel frei

February 13th, 2010 at 6:26 am

I care.
happy valentines day.
every day.
from your friend daniel. X

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Ambar

February 13th, 2010 at 10:26 am

wow that’s great.. thank’s

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轉載: 10 ANTI-VALENTINE’S DAY CARDS « 蘇菲公共頻道

February 13th, 2010 at 10:27 am

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BigLittleWolf

February 13th, 2010 at 12:11 pm

Love the third, with the hot dog. Perhaps if we made Valentine’s Day about loving our kids and our friends as well, eschewed the traditional (overcommercialized) “stuff” – and came up with a few entertaining things to do or say on our own?

The picnic of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on the living room floor. The letter to a teen, left on the pillow (to avoid embarrassment) – telling them why we’re proud of them. The phone call to an old friend, for the pleasure of a shared voice – so much better than an email. Or a movie fest – on cable – for the one we too often neglect. The weary self.

Meanwhile, I’m thinking it’s hot dogs now. Because, quite true, love isn’t always enough. But anything with relish, is pretty damn good.

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EAR-CANDYYYYY <3! « (: / ):

February 13th, 2010 at 1:29 pm

[...] SPECIALLY FOR V-DAY: SOMETHING IRONICAL [...]

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Michael

February 13th, 2010 at 1:40 pm

Yeah, I love my wife so very much, but we both are not into the Valentines Day festivities. My coworker was talking about how he’s getting his wife all these clothes, a scarf, more clothes, chocolate, flowers, and a stuffed bear, and then he’s getting his children lots of toys and the like. They seem to think it is the second Christmas!

My wife and I simply cook up some soup, get bread bowls, and eat that for our tradition. We don’t need any chocolates, though they are not unwelcome.

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kpe

February 13th, 2010 at 1:51 pm

these cards are awesome :)
but the reason i don’t like feb 14th is cause your friends start whinging to you how lonely they are….. go figure.

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Nikki

February 13th, 2010 at 2:12 pm

These gave me a giggle : ) I love the Psycho one!

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Oh, no! Behavior...

February 13th, 2010 at 2:24 pm

hahahaha so funny

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{JeLisa} @ Blogging Ever After

February 13th, 2010 at 2:42 pm

Hopefully this question doesn’t offend anyone, but why do people care so much about Valentine’s Day? People seem to get really wrapped up in either loving it or hating it. If you’re into it, go do your thing, and if you’re not into it, why care?

I guess it just seems like if people don’t want to celebrate it, it really shouldn’t be that important to them, but to each his own. Enjoy the cards! They are pretty funny. :)

{The little Timmy one cracked me up.}

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ashleythinks

February 13th, 2010 at 3:37 pm

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La La

February 13th, 2010 at 4:12 pm

Diamonds are so worthless. That should be a blog on deck for sure.

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La La

February 13th, 2010 at 4:15 pm

waves to Lakia!!! :)

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jvguilder

February 13th, 2010 at 11:13 pm

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gilbertmusings

February 13th, 2010 at 11:25 pm

I did want to post more but it was difficult to find them. The effort was in the search. I did find others that were very funny, but refrained from posting due to the nature of the cards. Cursing and what have you.

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Corve DaCosta

February 14th, 2010 at 12:40 am

Come on…..we love v-day

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Denúncia Coimbrã

February 14th, 2010 at 12:48 am

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thedarkword

February 14th, 2010 at 3:10 am

Happy Singles Awareness Day, all!

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Iris

February 14th, 2010 at 4:33 am

love it. haha.. so true

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carolkong

February 14th, 2010 at 4:54 am

oh so true about the v-day and diamond! thanks for the post~

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reasons to hate valentine’s day « serendipity

February 14th, 2010 at 5:39 am

[...] 10 anti valentine day cards [...]

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Happy Valentine’s Day! « Peng Molano

February 14th, 2010 at 6:19 am

[...] Pic: Meish.org Special Thanks to: Gilbert Musings [...]

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S

February 14th, 2010 at 9:16 am

I am a brainwashed moron, but I still find this hilarious!

S
http://notjustmedical.wordpress.com

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giveitasecondlook

February 14th, 2010 at 10:22 am

HAHAHA! I’m digging this. It’s all wonderful and makes me feel better about watching E! and grocery shopping today. Have a great day!

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Asian Butterfly

February 14th, 2010 at 10:29 am

St Valentine does not even exist people, so there’s no such thing as valentines day
if you love someone, show it everyday not on a what you call dumb special valentines day.
heh… :O

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gilbertmusings

February 14th, 2010 at 12:56 pm

Thanks. You too!

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Julie

February 14th, 2010 at 1:24 pm

I love the second to last card because it is soo true! But i can’t believe some of my friends have to stick up for people like that!!

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Roads are made by Traveling

February 14th, 2010 at 1:55 pm

[...] Etsy, Etsy finds, General, Support a cause, books Happy Single Awareness day!! Here’s some cards to check out! In the spirit of Valntine’s Day help Haiti by shopping Etsy and have 100% of [...]

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Vincent

February 14th, 2010 at 2:14 pm

thanks for the cards ;)
Actually I have eagerness to Photography and Music And Art Also in a way, although, my blog is a bit political these days.

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jorgerosa

February 14th, 2010 at 3:37 pm

WOW! Very original and funny stuff! Sometimes “heart broken” happens… Its like a software bug… We just have to fix it asap! Cya. xD

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lilo

February 14th, 2010 at 4:27 pm

take it easy… just go with the flow and you will find another girl:):):)

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MsOfficer

February 14th, 2010 at 4:30 pm

Lol! These are funny. Give the cards & then do this:

http://msofficer.com/2010/02/14/valentimes-day-guide/

TWITTER.COM/MSOFFICER

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mwarren06

February 14th, 2010 at 4:48 pm

I spent my Valentines Day doing a little self-love (no, not that kind). Writing! It’s hard to take time to write for yourself. It’s more for me but I’d like to see someone else love or hate it too. Take a look and comment if you’d like!

http://thestarsandthemoonandthedeepbluesea.wordpress.com/

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Jacqui Barreto

February 14th, 2010 at 5:24 pm

lol – they were great! Thanks for sharing that :D

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a gift to the gutter, a gift to the city « squirreltastic!

February 14th, 2010 at 7:58 pm

[...] 10 Anti-Valentine’s Day Cards. [...]

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Carri

February 14th, 2010 at 8:16 pm

YES.
I didn’t even notice it was valentines day until I logged onto Facebook.
I’m just calling it single awareness day. And not aknowledging the fact that I’m probably being a pessimist. Whatever.

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sonicwind

February 15th, 2010 at 12:30 am

This post makes you look HOT!

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Fat. Naked. Dangerous. « The Wed or Dead Wager

February 15th, 2010 at 7:34 pm

[...] February 13, 2010 Biscuit Leave a comment Go to comments (Note: Credit due to Gilbert Musings for assembling an EXCELLENT collection of Anti-Valentines Day [...]

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CaraB

March 3rd, 2010 at 6:07 pm

I don’t know WHY anyone thought Valentine’s Day “creators” would think a chubby toddler chasing people around with a bow and arrow would be cute!!!

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